


She's All I See

by Doodlebags



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Death, F/F, F/M, Loss, Male Frisk, Mental Breakdown, Mental Illness, Mental Instability, Mild Gore, Mute Frisk, Obsession, Papyrus needs therapy, Reader Has A Name, Reader Is Not Chara, Reader Is Not Frisk, Soulmates, close to death, more tags may be added as the story goes on, soul bonding, though you don't hear it until a few chapters in
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-28
Updated: 2018-03-08
Packaged: 2019-01-25 10:40:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12529480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doodlebags/pseuds/Doodlebags
Summary: “my brother’s been havin’ these dreams…. For a year, a few times a month, he’ll dream about a woman in a white gown, roaming through the snow, singing a beautiful song….” He stared at the human receptionist behind the counter of the psychiatrist’s office. She had a confused look, processing what she was just told by the stout skeleton wearing an oversized blue sweater and baggy sweat pants. He looked exhausted.the receptionist tapped her finger tips on the wooden desk in front of her, causing an echo through the silent waiting room. “i….am sorry, sir. While that is a strange recurrence, there doesn’t seem-“she was cut off. Sans’ face was stern now.“he’s obsessed with her….”“he’s convinced she’s real.”♪ “Those you’ve known And lost, still walk behind youAll alone, They linger till they find youWithout them The world grows dark around youAnd nothing is the same until you know that they have found youThose you’ve known And lost, still walk behind youAll alone, Their song still seems to find youThey call you As if you knew their longingThey whistle through the lonely wind, the long blue shadows falling” ♪-Those You’ve Known, Spring Awakening.





	1. Those You've Known

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Must Love Animals](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6440320) by [smallpersiankitten](https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallpersiankitten/pseuds/smallpersiankitten). 



> whoew, hey, here i am again, with another Undertale fanfic. this one has a more deep plot, and is sort of a reader insert. 
> 
> It was inspired by in her eye for the most part, but is was also slightly inspired by Must Love Animals. That will become more apparent in the future.
> 
> view the art for this fanfic here! https://doodlebags.deviantart.com/art/fanfic-art-Shes-All-I-See-Papyrus-desk-714324702

**_Chapter 1: those you’ve known_ **

After the monsters where freed from their thousand-year imprisonment under the mountain, San and Papyrus managed to afford a two-bedroom apartment in Ebott City. It was on the fifth floor, not high enough to have an unobstructed view, and just high enough to make their calves ache like hell by the time they reach the door. They’d take the elevator, but that thing’s been broken since they moved in a month ago, and the landlord doesn’t seem to be interested in repairing it, anytime soon. It always boggled Sans’ mind that they don’t have muscles, yet their bones ache as if they did. Papyrus, at least, seemed more than alright with this. He called it training. And Sans mostly just teleported everywhere, so the stairs were rarely used by him. Though, sometimes his magic would become weak, due to his low HoPe (HP) levels. He would have no choice but to walk, and he hated it.

When papyrus started telling him about these weird dreams, of a beautiful woman in white, he thought it was odd, but really didn’t think anything else. Dreams were weird, and sometimes, they were recurring, so it was relatively normal. Though, as the months went by, Papyrus started to grow obsessed. He’d draw her, rather well, to be honest. He didn’t know his brother was such a good artist. He’d also draw a cabin in a wooded clearing, surrounded by snow. His room became cluttered with these drawings, along with some scribbled words on paper. ‘help me’, ‘save me’, and lyrics from the song she would sing. This song would echo through the woods, leading Papyrus to her location, which was either the cabin, or a frozen lake.

While Papyrus was away at work and Sans had off, Sans would sometimes sneak into his brothers’ room (despite the sign on the door that said ‘no brothers allowed’) and assess the damage. Every time he did, the room became more and more crowded with drawings and letters and scribbled words. All around his desk and walls, mostly. When Sans would ask about them, Papyrus would get defensive. _“they’re just drawings, Sans!”_ Was mostly his excuse. **Just drawings** is alright, but **this**? This is excessive.

The way he talked about her was….odd. like he **knew** her personally. Like they hung out all the time.

 

 

 

“I have to look my best for her, Sans!” Papyrus exclaimed, slurping up the strings of meat sauce covered pasta. They were sat across from each other at their large dining room table, having their Sunday spaghetti dinner with all their friends. At the head was Toriel, helping Frisk cut their spaghetti. She looked over, worry on her face, as did the rest. She was all he talked about anymore, so they were getting worried. Even Frisk could tell something was wrong.

Sans had made the mistake of asking Papyrus why he was wearing cologne and a suit. He didn’t expect him to be dressing up for a….dream woman. “….Pap…. you’re dressed up for…..” he trailed off. He didn’t know what to call her, honestly. He never told them her name.  
  
but papyrus knew what he was saying. “of course! She’s always wearing this….long, beautiful dress. It’s….getting a bit dirty and torn, however.” there was worry in his voice. He frowned. “b-but! She had invited me into the cabin the last time! I’ve never been in there, and I am sure this is a date, so I decided to dress for the occasion.” He looked to Frisk with a large smile. “I am deeply sorry, Frisk, but I have found someone else…”  
  
Frisk smiled sweetly at him, nodding gently. He was mute, so he signed ‘it’s alright. I’ll be fine.’    
  
papyrus was about to speak up, but was cut off when he caught a whiff of something burning. “ah, oh no! the desert! I-I will be right back!” he stood quickly, rushing into the kitchen. Once the door closed, Undyne let out a deep sigh, elbows on the table, hands clasped and forehead resting on her knuckles.  
  
“…..am I going to be the first one to admit this boy needs help?”  
  
Alphys nodded, adjusting her glasses on her face. “I….I agree…. The psyche is indeed a s-strange place…. And Papyrus seems to be…..very damaged in that area…..”  
  
Sans let out a deep groan, leaning back in his chair. “….yeah, yeah, I know….. I just…..I’m not sure how to tell him she’s…..not real, you know? I mean…. I’ve given hints, but….he refuses to believe she’s just…..in his mind.”  
  
“dear, you need to set him up with a psychiatrist. Frisk has one, and she’s been able to help him a good deal.” Frisk nodded with a smile to confirm his mother’s statement.

Sans considered this. In fact, he has been considering this for a long time. Ever since Papyrus started acting as if she were real. “…yeah, I’ll…..i’ll think about it….”  
  
Toriel frowned. “well…..please **really** consider it. Darling, he needs help-“  
  
“I know!” Sans cried out, much louder this time. The room grew quiet, and Sans calmed himself down as he stood up, now practically whispering to counteract his loud burst. “…..i know…. Okay? I’m sorry, i…..i need some air…..” and with that, Sans teleported out of the house before anyone else could respond.

“…..that…..didn’t go so well….” Alphys said with a frown.  
  
after a few minutes, Papyrus re entered the room, sporting a large smile and wielding a steaming tray of individual personal chocolate soufflés. “they were only a little burnt! I managed to scrape off- wait, where’s Sans? He barely ate his food!” Papyrus looked disappointed as he set the tray down on the table.  
  
“don’t worry about him, Pap! He’s just….taking a smoke break outside!” undyne chimed in, trying to cover up the tension in the room.  
  
Papyrus placed his hands on his hips, scoffing and rolling his eyes. “I wish he’d stop that nasty habit! Or at least wait until he’s finished eating! His food will get cold!””  
  
“it’ll be alright, dear. I will go retrieve him for you.” Toriel spoke, standing up from the table.  
  
“ah, thank you, Queen Toriel!”  
  
“it is no problem. I will be back in a giffy.” she reassured as she headed for the door. Her expression became stern as she turned her back on the others, and closed the door behind her. once in the hall, she broke out her phone, dialing Sans’ number. It rang a few times before he picked up.  
  
“…..hello…?”  
  
“Sans, what are you doing?” she sounded irritated, and Sans winced at the sound of her voice.

“ah…..taking a walk?”

“well, come back. I need to talk to you.”

“can’t we just tal-“

“ ** _no._** ” she emphasized irritably, making Sans wince once again on the other end.

“….fine, give me a second…..” and he really did mean **just** a second. In the blink of an eye, he was infront of the tall Goat woman, who was glaring down at him with her arms crossed. Sans rubbed the top of his skull, sockets narrowing and grin faltering. He looked her over in the small hallway. She was wearing a flowery dress and heals. “….um…..you….look very pretty tonight, Tori….~”

“don’t try to flatter me, Sans…. What was that back there?” she gestured to the closed door. Muffled conversations heard, but not understood.

“….yeah, I….I’m real sorry about snappin’ at ya…. This whole thing, just…..” he sighed, leaning against the wall next to her. “…..it’s draining me…. I’m worried about him….”

‘if you’re so worried about him, you need to get him **professional help** , Sans….” Her voice changed from stern to understanding, placing a white paw on his boney shoulder.

“yeah….” Was all he said, not looking up from his gaze on the ground.

“just….” She reached into her purse, taking out a card. “take this…. And think about it….” She placed the card in his hoodie’s pocket, then gave the small skeleton a kiss on the head. He let out a soft chuckle, blushing lightly.

“yeah…. Thanks….”

After they re entered the home, the friends continued their meals, trying to keep the conversation away from papyrus’ ‘date’. as they did every Sunday, after dinner, they crowded around the livingroom, watching that week’s pick for their ‘human movie night’.

Having been trapped underground for thousands of years up until only a few months ago, the monsters didn’t really have many movies. The only ones they’ve ever gotten was the old ones that would fall into the underground via the water way flowing down in Waterfall. The area was dubbed the garbage dump, though it mostly contained human garbage that seemed to be endlessly flowing in. occasionally, they’d find gems, such as movies. The movies and books would go to the capital’s library, where monsters could barrow them whenever they wanted. They were old, but it was all they really had. Now that they were on the surface, though, they had an endless supply of movies to choose from! They would always consult Frisk before choosing, since he was human and came from the surface in the first place. Though he was only twelve, he seemed to know a lot about movies, which helped a lot. This weekend’s choice was A Walk To Remember. A sad love story about a girl with terminal leukemia, and a boy who falls in love with her.

One particular scene caught Papyrus’ attention fully. It was the scene of the school play, where the lead female is donned in a white dress and sings a beautiful song. The song is much different than the one his date sings, though the voice is just as hauntingly beautiful. After she is done singing, the boy kisses her, which was not a part of the play. Was this what he was supposed to do after he finds her and she stops singing? Is this why she’s never given him her name? he will have to remember this for tonight.

After the movie, their friends said their goodbyes, and Sans and Papyrus were left alone. Sans looked to the clock. It was about bedtime. He stood up from the couch, stretching and grunting. “alright, Pap. We should get to bed. You  got Royal Guard training at 4 AM, right? What story you want me to read tonight? Fluffy Bunny?”

“yes, I have training! But no, Sans, it is alright! I will go without a story tonight. I must get to sleep quickly if I am to be on time for my date!”

Sans’ face fell, and he followed behind his younger brother as he practically sprinted up the stairs. “Pap, common, how do you even know you’ll dre- er, ‘see’ her tonight?” papyrus hated when people referred to her as a dream. He avoided it at all cost.

Papyrus scoffed. “because she **told me** , San!” he said, as if his brother should have known. “I will see you in the morning. Goodnight, brother!”

“….yeah…. night, bud….” Sans watched his brother enter his room, sighing exhaustedly once he was gone. It seemed like Toriel was right.

 

Papyrus needed help.


	2. They Call You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you and Papyrus have your "date", and you seem to be getting worse.

**_Chapter 2: They Call You_ **

 

It took Papyrus about 20 minutes to fall asleep. On a good night, it would usually only take about 10, so this was a particularly difficult night to fall asleep. Might be just because of how excited he was, or the fact that his suit wasn’t designed to sleep in. regardless, he managed to get to sleep, and immediately upon falling into his temporary coma, he fell, quite literally, face first into a blanket of snow.

The fall was always hard and abrupt, but it never hurt. The thick snow helped to aid in keeping him unharmed. He landed with an ‘oof’, then came to his composure and stood up. He stood there for a moment, brushing off the snow from his suit and face, especially the insides of his sockets. Large chunks of snow always seemed to like getting stuck in them.

As he was grooming himself in the middle of the snowy forest of evergreen trees, he started to hear the faint sounds of singing, echoing through the forest. Papyrus’ smile grew wide as he heard this. he was right on time. “yes, I am on my way!” he called out to the voice before following it through the thick wooded area, taking long strides in the ankle-deep snow.

**_“those you’ve known_ **

****

**_And lost, still walk behind you._ **

****

**_All alone, their song still seems to find you.”_ **

****

The beautiful singing seemed to be echoing from all around him, though the source was easy to find for Papyrus. Not only through audible cues, but…..it seemed as if his soul was being tugged and lead by some invisible source.

 

**_“they call you, as if you knew their longing._ **

****

**_They whistle through the lonely wind, the long blue shadows falling.”_ **

****

As he got closer, the wind seemed to pick up. From where the wind came from, he didn’t know. It felt as through it was coming from everywhere. Not going or coming from one particular direction, just sporadically moving all around, getting more intense the closer to her he got.

At this point, his soul was lit up like a Christmas tree, the glowing orange shinning through his suit. In record time, he managed to make it to the source of the winds and singing. A large clearing in the middle of the forest, with a small logged cabin sitting cozily in the center. He looked around eagerly, but didn’t see you. the winds and singing had stopped as he reached the house, so he was in the right place, though you seemed to be nowhere around. His smile faltered, and he glanced around the clearing. “ah…..beautiful woman…..? are you lost….?”

“ _……..inside…..”_ your haunting voice echoed as the cabin door opened slowly, revealing a dark interior. _“….quickly…..”_

Papyrus couldn’t help but gulp heavily, his legs trembling out of both fear and excitement. But mostly excitement. After all, his date wouldn’t hurt him. …..right?

He entered the home slowly, the door closing behind him, enveloping him in the complete darkness. He summoned one of his glowing blue attacks, and let his eye flames burn bright orange in an attempt to lighten the room. He stepped forward slightly, looking around the small cabin. His magic luminescent bone and flaming “pupils” barely lit anything, but he could vaguely see around the home.

It was a small, one room home. There was an old couch in a corner, a dining table with three chairs in the middle, and a small kitchen, equipped with a fridge, stove and one counter top. There was also a bricked fire place across the room from the couch, which seemed to have been unused for a ling time. That was all that was in the home. No sign of the woman anywhere in here. He was now getting worried. “ah…..h-human? Are…you hiding? Oh! Is this a puzzle!?” his expression went from worry and fear to excitement. “oh, how sweet of you! You know how much I love puzzles, so you have arranged one to start off our date! I must look for clues to where you are, right? Hmm….” He stood in the middle of the room, the hand holding the blue attack on his hips, and the other free hand on his chin. “the door swung open, and you told me to go inside….yet you are not here…. Or **are** you? Are you hiding under the couch, perhaps? No, there is not enough room under there…. Or maybe under the sink?” he quietly contemplated the options to himself, not noticing the figure standing behind him.

Slowly, pale white, almost blue in color, arms slinked around his shoulders, forcing him out of his concentration and freezing him in place. His eye sockets widened as the arms wrapped loosely around his chest and he felt something soft and cold press into his back. _“…….i am right here…..”_ you whispered into his nonexistent ear with a weak smile.

Upon hearing your voice, Papyrus allowed himself to relax, disintegrating his blue attack until it is no longer there. “ah, you startled me! ….did I win the puzzle?”

you let out a weak giggle, planting a soft, cold kiss to his jaw bone. _“……..yes….. you found me…..”_

Papyrus’ face lit up with an orange magical blush. “w-wowie….. oh, that reminds me. you are done with your singing, right?”

_“…….yes……”_

“wonderful!” and with that confirmed, he gently turned around in your arms, placing his hands on your shoulders. Without hesitation, he quickly pressed his teeth onto your lips, in an attempt at a kiss. Though, without lips of his own, it was hard for him to imitate a kiss.

You understood perfectly well what he was doing, and to the best of your ability, you kissed back. A moment passed before he pulled away, and you slowly backed up out of his arms, touching your fingers to your cold, blue lips.

Papyrus was now almost completely orange in color. he placed his hands to his cheek bones in surprise. This was his first kiss! “….wowie…..” was all he could muster up to say. Papyrus’ soul was now lighting the room through his cloths more than his eye flames were. The orange cartoonish upside down heart pumped hard in his rib cage, and, even though he couldn’t see it, he knew yours was, as well. Not just from the sporadic way your chest rose and fell as you took staggered breaths, but also because, he could feel it in **his** soul. He wasn’t sure how it worked, but….he could feel you when you were close by, he knew your location and felt drawn to you. He could feel your emotions, and knew your health status, even without opening your stats with his magic. Right now, you were…..shocked? and embarrassed? Was that a good thing? “….ah, Human….” He looked over your body. Your once beautiful white gown now torn even more than the last time. The ice accumulating on your bluer hued skin, dress, and hair seemed to be worse, as well. And your status….. “….you aren’t doing too good….. why are you so blue? Are you freezing? You need a fire to warm you up!”

 _“……save me…..”_ you whispered your smile disappearing as you began to back away from him.

His eyes narrowed slightly in confusion. “…..that is what I am trying to do, sweetie….. n-now, you…..must have some fire wood, right? It is probably out back, I will go get it.” He started to walk past you. “stay here, alright? No going outside, you are too cold as it is!” he left the home with you watching him the entire time, up until he closed the door. This was a relatively normal way for you to act. You would just randomly blurt out, ‘save me’, ‘find me’, ‘help me’. he had no idea what it meant. Maybe all this time, you were trying to tell him you were really cold? Why didn’t you just _say_ it instead of making it a riddle? I mean, he loves puzzles, but if your life was on the line, a puzzle to figure that out was **not** appropriate!

He made it to the back of the cabin, spotting a bin of logs covered by an old tarp. Perfect! With his amazing strength, Papyrus managed to scoop up about five logs in his arms. This should be enough. He should hurry, though. His soul feels your location pulling away from the cabin. Where are you trying to go now? He hurriedly walked around the cabin and back to the front, where he spotted you slowly walking in the direction of the frozen lake. “h-hey, no, no, no, **bad** human!” he put the logs down in front of the door and scurried up to you, stopping you with his arm. “where do you think you are going, miss? Didn’t I ask you to stay put in the cabin? You could **die** out here in your condition!” he seemed disappointed, but honestly, he was more worried than anything.

You didn’t say anything. Just stared blankly at him, then back toward the lake. “no! you can visit the lake once you are back to health! Up you get!” with that, he picked you up by your waist and flung you gently over his shoulder, taking you back to the cabin.

 _“…….he’s there…..”_ you said in your whispery voice, staring off toward the lake as Papyrus carried you.

“…yes, I know, ‘he’s there’. you say that a lot, yet I still have no idea what you mean by that.” He sighed. “one of these days, I will get you to explain all of your riddles **properly** to me.”

Moments later, but not many, papyrus had managed to start a fire in the small fireplace on the wall opposite to the couch. You sat next to him on the floor, bundled in his large scarf.

Papyrus stoked the fire as he took his seat next to you, smiling wide, proud of himself. “nyeh heheh~ the fire is no match for the **great papyrus** ~!” you giggled lightly beside him, leaning into his side for the extra warmth, bringing Papyrus out of the pride induced haze he was in. his face immediately lit up orange once again as he felt you lean into his side. How did you have such a strong effect on his soul? He felt his soul reach out to yours, tugging in his chest as if you were trying to yank it out of his rib cage. He tried to ignore this…..odd feeling and pulled his arm hesitantly around your shoulder. You were getting warmer, but…..your skin was still blue and the ice wasn’t melting. This was very odd. He watched you for a while as you started into the flames of the fire in front of you two. This was turning out to be a very calm first date! What was he so nervous about? “ah, this….this is nice, huh….? Oh! I should cook you some dinner! Yes, a nice pot of hot stew should be wonderful!”

_“……there is no more food….”_

This made Papyrus blink in confusion. No more food? “….do you need to go grocery shopping?”

You shook your head slowly. _“….no stores….. ….no food…. …. nothing is left…..”_ before papyrus could say anything, however, you quickly turned your head to look at him. _“….you must leave…..”_

“…wh-what? But I just got- “

 _“wake up….!”_ She slapped Papyrus across his face, and immediately, Papyrus shot awake, sitting up quickly, gasping loud, staggered breaths. He looked around. He was back in his room, in his bed, covered in the dark of the night.

Quickly, as he gained his composure, the sensation of the slap started to sting on his cheek bone. He winced at the pain, touching the growing red mark you left. This was…. certainly, a new way to wake him up. He glanced toward the clock on his bedside table as he rubbed the burning cheek. 3:30 am. Sans forgot to wake him up again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh man, seemed like this chapter opened up more questions then it answered, huh? don't worry, all those questions and then some will be answered in later chapters!


	3. Those You've Pained

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Undyne is worried about Papyrus when she starts to notice his training becoming lackluster.

**_Chapter 3: those you’ve pained_ **

 

It was 3:30 in the morning. Papyrus had training in a half hour. This would be alright, though he still had to shower, put on his armor, have breakfast, and drive twenty minutes away to the training grounds. (IE, Undyne’s back yard.) he grunted as he got out of bed, stretching sleepily, then stomped toward Sans’ room. He knocked on the door with a bit of force, then heard rustling beyond the door before a sleepy, confused Sans opened it. He was dressed in only hot dog printed boxers that hung loosely on his skeletal pelvis. “…..h-hey, bud, what’s up- “

“SANS!!” Papyrus’ loud voice startled the sleepy smaller skeleton. “it is 3:30 am! You forgot to wake me again!!”

Realization hit Sans. He glanced toward his clock and sighed. “….bro, I’m sorry…. I swear I set my alarm- “

“no, it’s alright….” Papyrus crossed his arms, looking a bit disappointed. “…. I’ll just buy myself an alarm clock later today. Hopefully this one will actually wake me up….” He scratched his head. It seemed when he was with you, it was almost impossible for him to be woken up by noises. The only thing that helps is Sans shaking him. And…. apparently slaps work, too. He remembered the slap, and it stung on que. He rubbed the sore spot as he spoke. “I will just…..have to change and shower at Undyne’s again. And grab some breakfast on the way.” He sighed. “go back to bed, Sans… I will see you later….”

Papyrus went to leave when Sans noticed the red spot on his cheek that he was rubbing. “ah……where’d that come from?”

“oh, um…..she slapped me to wake me up.” He laughed awkwardly. “a strong one, aint she?” and with that, he left Sans in his doorway, staring as Papyrus left.

Sans went back in his room and picked up his hoodie, digging into the pockets and pulling out the card Toriel gave him. He read it over in his head. _“Barbra Walters. Psychiatrist for humans, monsters and human/monster relationships.”_ The address was underneath, and Sans studied it. It wasn’t too far away. Maybe five minutes. Sans popped his cloths back on and pocketed the card. Welp. Time to get Pap a psychiatrist.

 

 

**_Later that day, at Undyne’s house_ **

It was well into the day, around four PM. The sun was blaring down onto them, though Papyrus was the only one that couldn’t feel the heat, due to him just being bone. Undyne, however, being an aquatic monster, hated the heat. It dried her out. She was set under an umbrella, away from the training guards, cold bottle of water in hand. She took a large swig of the water, then poured it on her gills that were located on her neck. She sighed, internally thanking her girlfriend for restocking the water in the fridge.

Her attention went back to the guards. The dogs were a bit of breath, likely overheating in their armor with all that fur. Greater dog laid on his back, panting heavily as he stared up at the sky. Lesser dog huddled under a tree, whining like a puppy. Dogamy and Dogarissa sat in the yard, huddling together, despite being hot. And Doggo, the one that wore significantly less clothing than the others, gave up sparing with Papyrus and flopped to the ground. He was the first to speak up. “….can we take a break….? We’re dying out here….”

Undyne groaned, but reluctantly nodded. “fine, fine. It’s almost time to call it a day, anyway.” Before she had a chance to finish, the dogs cheered weakly.

Greater Dog immediately leaped out of his mech suit, shaking his now tiny dog body. He attempted to drag the large mech suit that was ten times the size of his body with his teeth with minimal luck. Dogarissa helped him after a moment. “don’t do that, you’ll break your fangs. I got it.” Greater Dog barked thankfully at Dogarissa.

Lesser Dog followed suit, wiggling out of his armor, as well. After being freed from the hot metal body, he bound toward the others, who were all congregating under the large umbrella. Alphys emerged from the home with water bowls and bottles for the pups. “g-great job, everyone! Here, have some water.” She placed the two bowls down for greater and lesser dog, then gave the other three more anthropomorphic dogs their water bottles. The dogs happily drank their water as they cooled off under the umbrella.

However, Undyne was distracted. She had been watched Papyrus all day. Something was up. She watched as he spared with one of their non ghost-inhabited training dummies. His timing was off. His kicks were weak. When sparing with Doggo earlier, his magic attacks missed far too many times. He was distracted, and it was obvious to her. he had been getting worse and worse at combat for about a week now. She knew in the back of her mind this, somehow, had to do with you. She didn’t know how, but his dreams about you and his obsession was starting to affect his physical well-being and that wasn’t good. Papyrus wanted to be in the Royal Guard; Fight for and protect the monster King and Queen. Though, if this keeps up, she’ll have no other choice but to let him go. She didn’t want to do that. Papyrus wasn’t just her trainee, he was her best friend. She had to talk to him about this.

Five O’clock came, and it was time to head home for the night. All the dogs left fairly quickly. It was a tradition to go have drinks and play cards at Grilby’s bar after training, and they didn’t want to miss happy hour. Papyrus was the last one to leave, like normal.  He finished putting away the sparing equipment he used, then headed for the door to go home. Though, he was stopped in the living room by Undyne and Alphys. They looked concerned. “ah, h-hey guys. I was…..just on my way out! See you in two days!” he went to go past them, but was stopped by Undyne’s webbed hand, placed firmly on his chest plate.

“….pap…” she sighed, pointing to the couch. “….sit down…. We need to talk.” Papyrus’ face fell as he complied, not sure what was going on. Alphys and Undyne sat on either side of him. “….Papyrus, what’s going on with you?”

“ah….. what-what do you mean….?” He knew what she meant. He was trying to hide it, but lately, he…..felt drained. Guess he wasn’t hiding it good enough.

“you’ve been…..acting strange. Your sparing has been lackluster at best, you’ve been distracted, I mean you even lost against Lesser Dog, and all you need to do to beat him is pet him!” she was starting to get frustrated, and her girlfriend could tell. Alphys put a hand up to calm Undyne down and take over.

“wh-what we mean is…. We’re worried about you, Papyrus…. We can tell something’s bothering you….”

Papyrus scratched his head. “that….that’s the thing, though…..I have no idea what’s wrong….” He looked down to his gloved hands, speaking low. “I’ve felt….drained…. sleep is starting…..to be difficult, and my hunger is almost none existent. I mean, you saw me yesterday, I barely ate dinner! And today, I….stopped by McDonalds to grab some breakfast, and couldn’t eat it. I took one bite and had to throw it away, I just…..couldn’t do it. And not only that, but…..my soul hurts.” He placed a hand on his chest plate. “it feels…..like it’s being pulled somewhere else.”

Undyne and Alphys looked at each other, a bit confused by all this. “papyrus…..that doesn’t sound normal….” Alphys said, worriedly.

Undyne scoffed, crossing her arms. “it’s that damned dream girl!”

Hearing you referred to as a ‘dream’ didn’t sit well with Papyrus. He knew you were real. you had to be real. His face scrunched at Undyne’s words and he clenched his fists. “…..she’s not a dream….” He whispered.

Undyne wasn’t having it, this time. She needed to rip the band aid off right now, or Papyrus could be lost forever. “she **is** a dream, pap…!”

“u-u-undyne, may-may now’s not-“ Alphys began to speak, shaking lightly at the look on both Undyne and papyrus’ face. She was cut off, however.

“don’t……don’t say that….”

Undyne stood up, clenching her fists. “papyrus, **she’s in your head**! She’s not **real-**!”

Papyrus shot Undyne a look that she never saw him make before. It was almost scary. “she **IS REAL!!** ” Papyrus stood up quickly. His orange eye flames crackled and popped wildly in his eye sockets. The room grew quiet. “I KNOW SHE’S REAL!! I’VE SEEN HER, I’VE TOUCHED HER, SHE’S **REAL!!** ” Papyrus was breathing heavy now.

Undyne lowered her voice, now more concerned than anything. “…..Papyrus…. please….. open your eyes. Look around. **This** is real. **We** are real. You can’t really believe that she’s-“

“IF SHE’S NOT REAL, THEN WHERE’S MY SCARF, UNDYNE!?”

Her face fell. “…..what?”

“MY SCARF! I LENT HER MY SCARF LAST NIGHT, AND NEVER GOT IT BACK BEFORE I WOKE UP! IT’S NOT HERE UNDYNE, SO WHERE **ELSE** COULD IT BE!?”

Undyne looked around. There had to be a rational explanation for this. There was no way. “m-maybe….. maybe you misplaced it….”

Papyrus let out a loud cry, shaking where he stood, clawing at his skull with his gloved fingers. “aaargh, **why does no one BELIEVE ME!?”** he started sobbing now, and Undyne went to place a hand on his shoulder, though He shrugged it off and backed away. “d-don’t touch me! j-j-just leave me alone!” he ran for the front door.

Alphys stood up from the couch. “papyrus-!” she was cut off by the front door slamming shut. Undyne hurriedly ran to the door and swung it open. She went to yell for him, though It was too late. Papyrus was already speeding down the road in his car. Undyne watched him as he left and sighed deeply. It’s been a long time since her and Pap had a falling out. It always hurt to hear him cry. “Undyne…. You….you need to call Sans….”

Undyne nodded. “…yeah, yeah… I know….” She flopped back down on the sofa, breaking out her phone and dialing Sans’ work number. It took a bit, but Sans picked up. “hot dogs n’ cats, Sans speaking, how may I help you?” his calm voice echoed over the phone with fake cheer hinted in the tone. Undyne sighed.

“…hey, dude, you….need to head home. It’s…..pap. I tried having a talk with him and, well…..he’s hysterical.” A loud, low energy sigh rung over the phone. This wasn’t the first time he had to head home because Papyrus was hysterical. Anytime someone tried to tell him you weren’t real, it happened. He had to be there to comfort him.

“yeah, alright. I’m on my way….” He went to hang up the phone when undyne spoke up again.

“Sans…. **Please** get him a therapist.” She was desperate at this point. This needed to stop.

“yeah, um, I did…. Went this morning to Frisk’s therapist. Made him an appointment. He’s…..going tomorrow at noon…. Frisk’s got an appointment around that time, too, so….Tori’s gonna take the both of em.”

She sighed thankfully, leaning on the back of the couch. “Jesus, Sans, it’s about time…. Good luck with him…alright? it’s…..worse than the last time.”

“…..okay….. thank you….” the conversation ended, and Sans left work immediately after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Papyrus is having a mental breakdown right now. poor pap.... no one believes him. :(


	4. they fill your heart and mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Papyrus gets a therapist and Sans concerns for his bro heighten. 
> 
> (also holly shit, sorry for the long wait??? i've been in a serious writers block. also, recently lost my mom, so i've been dealing with a lot of shit lately. it's back, though~)

**Chapter 4: they fill your heart and mind**

Sans sped down the road as much as traffic laws would let him, furiously beeping cursing out loud at every tiny inconvenience that happened to cross his path. Papyrus was his number one priority right now. He had to get home before this outburst escalated into a full-on panic attack. It was much more hard to console him when he is in that state. Nothing seemed to help beside lots of snuggles, water, constant reassurance that everything’s okay, and attempts at changing the subject to something that would distract him; Talking about puzzle ideas, suggesting they make pasta together, offering to marathon his favorite shows or movies or both, offering to read him some of his favorite books, and if all else failed, distracting him with bad puns always seemed to work. Though, that was always a last resort in these times, seeing as Papyrus hates Sans’ puns. He wanted to make his bro smile, not cringe.

Back home, however, Papyrus had just burst through the door, face stained with glowing orange tears. His entire body was shaking, and he was trying so hard to contain his hics and sobs, as it was starting to exhaust him. This never happened before, why did crying exhaust him so much? Why did **everything** exhaust him so much? Standing was even getting hard on him.  Training was **especially** difficult, and all of these things used to come, no sweat for him. Barely anything made him tired, so what was going on? He leaned on the closed door, and looked to his hands, which were shaking uncontrollably. “…..wh….why…..?” he whispered, as if his hand could hear him. “why am I so….vulnerab-ble….? And weak….?” He tightly clenched his hand as a wave of rage took over him, forcing him to shake even more. He ground in deep anger, slamming his fist beside him and into the door he was leaning on, hard, causing a loud bang and rattle. Though, normally this action would leave a dent in the surface, all it did make a noise and leave white dust, which fell to the ground after Papyrus removed his hand.

\-----

A bit later, but not long, Sans slammed open the front door, breathing a bit heavier from the fact that he had to sprint up the stairs. Why did his magic have to stop working **now** , of all the times!? “p-p-papyrus!? Y-you ho-home!?” he tried to holler for his brother in between wheezes and deep breaths as he made his way to Papyrus’ room. He heard shuffling beyond the door, but no sobbing, which made him sigh from relief. Good, he wasn’t having a panic attack. Listening closer, he heard mumbling, which almost sounded like Papyrus was having a conversation with someone. Was he on a skype call with someone? He didn’t hear any other voices besides pap’s, which wasn’t odd, because Pap would always talk much more than anyone he had any sort of conversations with, especially if it involved the things he loved.

Fair warning, never ask Papyrus what he thinks of Mettaton EX. You’d be there, listening to him gush over the robotic celebrity for hours. Telling stories about the times he met him, bragging about how his best friend’s girlfriend is the one who created him, discussing theories, ect. If there’s one thing he is almost as obsessed over as you, it’s that robot. When he’s not using his laptop to draw digital art of pasta and you, he’s watching his shows, talking on forums, you name it.

Though, a few words caught his attention, which made his heart skip a beat. “no one believes you are real…” he heard his bother practically whisper beyond the door. He was…..talking to you? That was impossible. Was it…. really getting that bad? He let out a deep sigh, then gently knocked on the door. The whispering stopped, and, after a few seconds, Papyrus spoke up. “….who’s there?”

Sans smiled lightly at his brother’s voice. “…It’s me, pap. Can I come in?”

“ah, brother, can’t you read signs!?” Sans’ attention was directed to Papyrus’ decorated bedroom door. Among the decorations was a “caution: only cool kids allowed” yellow tape, some flowery wall decals, a piece of notebook paper with conversations Papyrus and Sans would have through that piece of paper on his door, and a big blue ‘STOP ’sign, with the words ‘no **_brothers_** allowed!!’ written under the word ‘STOP’ in black marker.

Sans sighed even deeper. “….Pap, please, it’s important. I need to talk to ya…” he said as he rubbed his temple with his thumb and pointer finger.

A few more seconds passed before papyrus spoke back up, sounding defeated. “…. **fine**.”

Sans sighed, fiddling with the card in his hand. How to bring this sort of thin g up with Papyrus without making it sound like he needs mental help? Well….he **did** need mental help, but Sans didn’t want him to know that’s why he’s going. He didn’t want to have to force his brother to go to a therapist, but honestly, he’d do it at this point. He let out a deep sigh before pocketing the card once again and entering the room. “hey, bro.”

Papyrus was sitting, in the dark, drawing tablet in hand and his drawing program, Paint Tool SAI, opened on the screen with a light sketch on the canvas. He didn’t turn to Sans, and just kept drawing.

Sans flopped himself down onto the bed, which was located across the room. He got a bit distracted by watching the screen of his laptop over Papyrus’ shoulders. He loved watching his brother draw, it was amazing to him. He never knew how talented he was. Even though he’d mostly draw you, Sans supported his brother, hoping he’d someday find a new muse. With some money saved up, Sans managed to get Papyrus an Intuos pro pen and touch and the paint program of Papyrus’ choosing for Christmas this past year.

His focused stare was broken, however, when Papyrus turned his chair, looking to Sans with a raised eyebrow. “….what was it that you needed?”

“ah, right. Listen, pap…. tomorrow, Toriel is going to take you and Frisk to see their therapist. I-I signed you up-“

“I don’t need a therapist.” Papyrus said plainly, turning back to his art. Sans let out an exhausted sigh.

“buddy, look… all I want is for you to talk to her. explain your situation, talk about this girl, and maybe she can help you better understand what’s happening with you.”

“…..do you really believe…..i need this….?” Papyrus spoke up softly.

“yes, I do…. We all do.” A long sigh came from Papyrus. It was silent for a moment before he spoke up.

“fine, you win. I will talk to this therapist tomorrow. But I wont enjoy it….! This is only to get you guys off my case.” Papyrus ended his statement with a ‘hmph!’ and crossed his arms. All Sans could do was smile. Finally, he was getting help. And sorta willingly, too!  All he could do was hope Papyrus cooperated with the therapist and that she actually helped him. Maybe she could diagnose him with some sort of illness and get him medication. What would this even be, he wondered? Delusions that a girl from his dreams was real. He couldn’t think about what kind of mental illness this sort of thing would fall under. Then again, he wasn’t the therapist, so he wouldn’t know.

Knowing everything was sorted out, Sans exited Papyrus’ bedroom to call Toriel. He needed a smoke break, anyway.

Leaving the building, he stood against the brick outside, lighting a cigarette and taking a long drag. Puffs of smoke blew out his nostrils and eye sockets before blowing the rest from his mouth with a long sigh. He dialed Toriel on his cell and held it to his head with his un occupied hand. “heya, Tori~ how’s queening going for ya today?”  
  
Toriel, wearing a nice gown, the fur on her head and ears all wavy and curled, and a whine glass in hand, stood off to the side at a fancy party with two guards right beside her. “ah…. You know…. Fancy party, meeting world leaders, the usual. Kinda stuffy and boring in here, but it comes with free food and wine, so I can’t complain.” she giggled lightly, Sans giggling right back. “what’s up, funny bone~? You need something?”

“ah, yeah…” Sans scratched his head. “mind taking Pap with you to Frisk’s therapist tomorrow? I made him an appointment around the same time, so….” He trailed off, taking another drag of his cig. A human woman with her child walked by, the child staring in awe at the smoke emitting from the skeleton’s sockets. He just grinned awkwardly and waved to the curious child, prompting the, more than likely monsterphobic, mother to glare and tug her along. Typical human response. He just shrugged it off.

Toriel, on the other line, stared off in shock. “you actually booked him a session? Ugh, sans, *finally*!” she slumped against the wall, prompting her guards to try and hold her up. She had more than a few drinks that night. “of course I’ll take him, sugar skull~ I’ll pick him up about a half hour before frisk’s appointment.

Sans sighed in relief, running a hand through his none existent hair. “thanks… hopefully….this person can help him out. Or at the very least, like…..*diagnose* him and prescribe medication? I’ll honestly pay anything to help him, at this point.”

“of course, love. She is very good at what she does, I don’t doubt she could help Pap. Now go rest, okay? You sound exhausted.”

“yeah….i will. Thanks.” And, with a few cheesy exchanges of I love you’s and kissy noises, mostly from the half buzzed Toriel, Sans pocketed his phone, took a long last drag of his cigarette before putting it out and heading back inside.

Opening up the front door, however, Sans noticed something he didn’t notice before. Leaning down to the ground for a closer look, he spotted it. White dust on the ground, right in front of the door. He examined it further, running a finger through it. There was no denying what this was. It was monster dust. Something monsters turn into after they die. In some cases, if a monster is slowly dying, they will gradually turn to dust, leaving trails behind.

Sans eyes lit up in panic as realization hit him, prompting him to suddenly jerk his gaze up to Pap’s room.

Papyrus was dusting. This was worse than he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shit, bro, he's dusting? wonder why that is, hmmm.... >.> if you know anything about soul bonds, you could probably guess why.

**Author's Note:**

> whoew, hey, here i am again, with another Undertale fanfic. this one has a more deep plot, and is sort of a reader insert. 
> 
> It was inspired by in her eye for the most part, but is was also slightly inspired by Must Love Animals. That will become more apparent in the future.
> 
> view the art for this fanfic here!


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